I got the call from the editor to be there at 11pm, and not to miss any of the bands tonite! So when I arrived at the Maria Club that early, all 5 people at the entrance welcomed me personally, which was, I think, the first time in my life that happened at the Maria.
Anyway, the deal was to check out a Rock n´Roll stage show with 6 bands presented by Root2Fruits, who promoted the event with a polaroid facsimile of two lady-butts subtitled „backstage asses”. For personal enjoyment I asked some of the females around if they were somehow involved in the idea of showing me their asses backstage, but they told me it was just the models. As I didn´t have any backstage access, it was pretty hard to figure out which kind of asses were being ravaged at the moment.
First band been Electric Shocks: not bad, but the audience was totally missing, because around midnight it was way too early for the crowd to arrive. Stage pauses were too long and it took a major break before the next band’s equipment was staged in working order. So I stepped over to the bar to order an Astra beer, but sadly I had completely run out of money. Another guy was grabbing my beer while I could only find a few cents in my pocket, so the barkeeper felt cheated and wanted to throw me out of the club for illegal tricking. I calmed the guy down and went back to the stage were Rich and Cool were trying to warm up the slowly-but-steadily growing audience. They had some fashionable young men with a keyboard on straps, which was played hanging like a guitar. At least the growing audience also grew in enthusiasm and cheered up the night a bit.
Next break was used to check out the illegals of a friend, but it took hours to find the stash and somehow they weren´t as hard hitting as promised, so I decided to get some fresh air. Coming back, my vision was cleared for Thom Revolver, who quite nicely and cool rocked the stage with verve, but for my taste, they were too pop-influenced. At least now the audience had really warmed up and some crazy showdummy crawled around the stage and fondled the musicians’ necks and balls. Ugh!
Next band been The Girls, which didn’t contain any girls at all, but probably some dudes with an entourage — nothing much to miss.
But then came Whitey, whom I mostly know from their surpassing, heartwarming hit-songs on the excellent „Future Rock n´ Roll” and „Hot Shit” double vinyl compilations (both by Sean McLusky: www.sonicmook.co.uk). „Live” more in the glamrock category, they inspired chief Dorfdisco editor Oliver Shunt, who couldn´t get his camera off a Keith Richards lookalike guitar-player in a uniform jacket. I must say that I like them more on vinyl and I must have played their crawly and driving songs a hundred times. But anyway, this is a probably a band you should look out for and their first regular release is coming out soon.
The last act in our Rock n´ Roll drama was Selfish Cunt, who are trying to freak the shit out of you. It´s an electronic beatbox, a drummer (Joao Pires) and a singer who always wears a ripped pantyhose, and moves with such artificial exaltation that you instantly notice his background in theatre. I saw their infamous gig at the Central club, where singer Martin Tomlinson was gay-ishly teasing some male audience-members who kicked his ass and threw him on the concrete floor a couple of times. But he always comes up and tries to communicate with the people that attend these crude shows. Already on NME they are being compared with the Sex Pistols on digital hardcore. They’ve verbally spread some nihilism and insulted the fashion community as hard as they could (Bread & Butter were co-organizers of the event). They have one single out to date, which is supporting the arrogant and dandy-esque title ‘Britain is Shit/Fuck the Poor’. A Canadian friend of mine took them to her home later in the morning after dancing and drinking another 5 hours at Fun in the 13th or 14th floor of an Alexanderplatz Hochhaus, and sent me a lot of funny after-show pictures (no, they neither pissed nor defecated in her apartment). But I think I also would be happy to see any cunts back here in drying-out-on-bread-and-butter Berlin.